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retroarcademonkey

332 Art Reviews

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Dude, same.

yugland responds:

Nice

You've improved.

Love the way your art is looking now, and I'm proud to have you as a friend. Good shit, man. Love all of this.

I approve of this butt

yugland responds:

your butt approval is the only one that matters

I am sick of Homestuck. But this is some good shit, dude. I freakin love the way you draw characters and draw movement.

It looks so HMMMM

yugland responds:

Well goddamn dude! Thank you!

It is October 23, 2016. 5:43 PM


A demon from the deepest bowls of the Saragon Pit somewhere from the gulf of space has traveled into our world. Attempting to find a tasty human to drain and slice apart, it finds one particular human off the coast of Brazil. Its invisible presence picked him and carried him away like an ant running away with a breadcrumb.

He was taken away to the empty zone. A part of the Saragon Pit all the locals try so hard to forget. The man's eyes were wide with fear, screaming as much as his vocal chords could allow... However, no being could possible hear the screams of a dead man within the abyss of space. Within the zone, everything was coloured a strong pink, with nothing in this space to possibly be seen, except for the man.

He was sliced in two places. Strange, he couldn't even feel the incision along his torso and limbs. A mass amount of blood shot out. But this was not normal blood... this didn't even feel like his own. He stared at "his" blood for a moment. This blood was not of a solidified colour. His blood was the universe itself. It was flowing out of him like a ravine, as his limbs lay still within this pink void, as his galactic blood travels through the pink void.

The demon watched contentedly, all before skewering his eyes and mouth, with what? We cannot say. The demon continually sucked the life out of him. Draining all of his soul to the universe itself.

ZeTrystan responds:

You and iago writing stories, I'm really impressed (and happy to read those).

And sincerely, by far my favorite sentence is: "His blood was the universe itself"

It is the night of October 21st, 2016. No matter how much he tries to beat this game, he is ridiculed with a barrage of insults and death.

His nose bleeds continuously all over the floor, as his room persistently glows a violent red and white, further brutally marking his pathetic defeat. He has been playing this game for 12 years, and has never left this room. All this time he has seen this game over screen, like an old friend, it has always been there.

But like an old enemy, it destroys his mentality, and breaks him down into a metaphorical cave-dweller. Always stuck on this one boss, that will never end.

But let's give some backstory on how this all happened, shall we?

It was October 21st, 2004, at 12: 34 AM. This kid's name back then, was Benny. He loved video games. So much so, he would take it upon himself to play a game 'till it's very completion. 100%, fox only, final destination kinda guy. He was with a group of friends one day when one of them was talking about this secret game that had taken up intrigue throughout the town. "I heard it makes you lose your freakin' mind!" said one of the kids, "I heard it takes your soul, and you'll never EVER beat it. AND YOU'LL NEVER LEAAAAAAVE HAHA" "Aw, shut up!" said Benny, confident that the secret game was all a stupid rumor permeated by all his friends to test him.

But then, his friend said this.

"Are you saying you haven't seen it, dude?" he said, with a genuinely shocked. "What the fuck are you faggots talkin' about with this shit?! You sayin' it's actually real? Prove it." Benny said, as he crossed his arms as if he put a lock to his arms so he was permanently crossing his arms. "We'll show 'ya" The fat kid in the middle said smartly.

Benny decided to bite the bait and follow them to where this so-called "cool secret game" was. "It couldn't be more nuts than Doom 3, right? Those stupid faggots are just trickin' me", Benny thought to himself. Arms still crossed.

Around 20 minutes of walking and talking about vaginas later, and they arrived in a garbage dump, located outside of town. All four of the kids climbed up through one of the garbage piles and found a strange, all-black box on the top. "That's it." said one of the kids, almost out of breath from their simple task of climbing up the garbage, "This looks fuckin' stupid" Benny said, describing this black box with not the most detail, "Well?" said the fat kid, "Open it!". Benny finally uncrossed his arms, and finally walked up to the box. He found it was like opening a black Nike shoe box, bringing him back to when he was 5 and has his first pair of shoes. He slowly opened the lid, revealing the title of the big mystery that has been built up all night.

BONESTORM

"This looks like a game a faggot would play." Benny said quite bluntly. He threw the game away and they all walked back home. "You should've brought the game over and played it, dude! We all wanted to see what the legend was like!" "Look, I like games that look like something I could actually enjoy. "Bonestorm" looks like a game made for gay faggots who are trying to be edgy after playin' Hello Kitty Island Adventures for four hours." Benny said confidently.

They arrived back home, to find the black box found its way onto the table in the middle of the living room. Benny immediately yelled, "Oh c'mon! What the fuck is this shit! Which one of you fucks did this?!" They all shrugged. Benny was raging now. He then shouted at the ceiling "Fine! I'll play your stupid retarded game, god! I should beat this gay shit in no time, anyway!"

He opened the box up to find it was a PS2 game. Luckily, they actually have a PS2 hooked up already, so they were all set to play the game. Benny put the disc inside the lone PS2 and turned it on. It started with a loud, violent roar. So loud, all of the neighbors would have heard it. Maybe even George Bush himself would've heard it from here. The fat kid tried to turn the volume down, but it was no use. The game had seemed to control the setting beyond what they were physically able to be set on.

It sounded like they really were within the depths of hell. They didn't even have surround sound set up, so they knew immediately what it was. They all yelled together, "YEP. THIS GAME IS DEFINITELY HAUNTED" Then a couple of pixelated eyed came up onto the screen and stared solely at Benny. Its eyes piercing into his very soul.

Several tentacles came out of the television and ripped all his friends apart. One tentacle took the fat kid, and slipped its way down the fat kid's throat, making him violently vomit as the tentacle messed around with, and horrifically damaging his internal organs. Eventually ripping itself out of his rib-cage, blood spilling everywhere in a massive bloodbath. Another tentacle simply cut apart one of his friends, like a sharp razor. Starting from the neck, down to the testicles. The last friend that was cut down was the quiet one. He had done nothing wrong, only to have several tentacles come at him and tear his arms and legs off.

Benny watched in horror, until a booming voice came through the television. "PLAY THE GAME, CHILD... OR END UP LIKE THEM" "A-a-alright, man. Fuck. Oh god... I'll do it." Many hours passed into the night. The hours turned into days. The days turned into months. And the months metamorphosed into years.

It is now the year 2016, and Benny still continues to fail miserably at the final boss. Nose-bleed continuing as the words "YOU SUCK" are sprayed at him like several bullets to the skull.

Will he ever beat the game? Well, you know what they say about Bonestorm.... You never win at Bonestorm....

ZeTrystan responds:

I... I... Retro.

Retro. I don't even know what to answer to that. Thanks, it's so intense! xD

Oh, man, this sequel to Pyromane got dark real quick.

ZeTrystan responds:

It's because there's no fun music over it. It's the only reason why. :D

Hello darkness, my old friend.....

I love Todd so much. He's like, the best character.

He's kinda like Jessie from Breaking Bad in how they're both lazy pathetic bastards. Only Todd is positive and likes his life. I JUST KEEP EXPECTING HIM TO SAY BITCH AT SOME POINT

Great stuff Trystan! Loving the focus on more movement in your work! Proud of ya! :D

ZeTrystan responds:

Hahaha, he won't! HE WON'T! He's wayyyy too happy go lucky!

Well thanks mate! I'm not really making amazing animation, but at least I'm getting used to it, which is a thing. 8D Heee.

This turned out so freakin great. All the little details are amazing

THE THIGHS ARE JUST.... UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH

robotjuice responds:

thank you so much!! :D I just... love thighs so... much.....

I may have made one too many mistakes.

Age 25, Male

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Urethra

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